Introducing my Japan-Vietnam family's house rules! This might be something every international couple can relate to

Xin chào! We are Papa-san, a Japanese husband living in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, and Mama-san, his Vietnamese wife! On this blog, we share information about moving to and living in Vietnam, as well as travel information from all over the country. If you come across an article that catches your interest, please start by following us ♪ This time, we'd like to introduce you to the household rules between us, a Japanese-Vietnamese married couple. From the perspective of an ordinary Japanese household, you might think "huh, that's a bit strange...", but actually, for couples in international marriages, it's often a case of "oh, that happens with us too~". So, let's get into it! My Rule ① It's only natural that we eat separately

This might be the most surprising thing of all. As a couple, we basically eat our meals separately. The reason is simple: "we each want to eat the food we like." Did you know that having to keep eating food that doesn't suit your own taste can actually be a real source of stress? Since I'm Vietnamese, I naturally prefer Vietnamese-style seasoning for my everyday meals, and since my husband is Japanese, he prefers dishes made with Japanese seasonings. So even though we've been married for about 10 years now, we basically eat our meals separately, and the only time we eat together is when we go out to eat. By the way, our kids tend to prefer Japanese food, so my husband is the one who cooks for them ♡      My Rule ②: About the Language Used in Family Conversations

The next family rule of ours is about the language we use for conversations at home. First, my husband and I speak to each other in "Vietnamese." And I speak with our child only in "Vietnamese," never using Japanese at all. On the other hand, Daddy and our child speak only in "Japanese," never using Vietnamese at all. We've decided that the only language our child should hear from each of us is our native one. Also, the reason my husband and I speak Vietnamese with each other is "because we live in Vietnam" (^^♪ This is something Daddy decided. My Rule ③: About managing and using money

Next up is the topic of household finances. My spouse and I are both working full-time. Because of that, each of us receives our own salary, but I think in a typical Japanese household, it's normal for either the wife or the husband to manage everything centrally and keep the household account book (though maybe that's not really the case anymore?). However, in our case, each of us manages our own money separately.So, my husband doesn't know how much savings I have, and I only vaguely know how much salary my husband gets. Even so, we do have a few rules. 1. My husband covers living expenses 2. When we eat out, I cover the cost 3. We don't pry into each other's financial situation That's how it is. So when we travel, I end up paying every day (-_-;)   Along the same lines, there's another rule: "Don't ask how much something the other person bought cost. If you do ask, you pay for it." For example, let's say I bought a Gucci bag. My husband is not allowed to ask me, "How much was that?" If he does ask, then he has to pay for the bag. My Rule #4: Basically, don't plan trips — go on impulse.

This might also seem a little strange. Many people, when they travel, book hotels months in advance and put together a local itinerary. Conversations like "Let's go there~" or "We absolutely have to go to this restaurant~" are part of the fun, right? Unfortunately, though, we don't do any of that. In our everyday life, Dad: "We've been kind of tired lately, huh." Mom: "Yeah, that's true.I haven't taken a day off work in about 10 days, you know." Dad: "Can you get time off?" Mom: "I could, if I tried." Dad: "Then how about we go to Da Nang starting tomorrow?" Mom: "Okay, I'll book the flights then." That's the kind of exchange that suddenly turns into a trip decision — that's just normal for us. Since our kid started elementary school, it happens less often, but even now it's still pretty much like that. When people hear that, they say, "Wait, doesn't that mean he's missing school?You might be thinking with a puzzled look, "Is your child's education really okay?" But rest assured, I haven't been careless about that. Vietnam has no compulsory education, so if a child's grades are poor, they can be held back a grade starting from elementary school. That's why we've been keeping study time fairly strict at home on a daily basis, m(__)m My Rule #5: Cut down on housework even if it costs money

Lastly, here's this one. We're both working full-time, so we split the cooking, housework, and childcare between us (though for childcare, it's mostly Dad since he's home more). Since we don't want to add stress outside of work, we make our housework as stress-free as possible, even if it costs some money. For example, in our household we've set up the following: 1. A large dishwasher (for 6–8 people's worth of dishes) 2. A clothes dryer 3. Regularly hiring a housekeeper In Vietnam, hiring a housekeeper is extremely common. It's not expensive like it is in Japan. At first, Papa insisted, "We don't need a dishwasher. I can wash the dishes myself," but now he worships the dishwasher like a god. It really does reduce fatigue! In summary: every family has its own unique rules. Do you all have any unusual rules of your own? It seems that quite a lot of families actually have their own little house rules, doesn't it? And that's even more true for international couples. Since we've each spent decades growing up in completely different environments, all sorts of friction naturally comes up once we start living together under one roof. After thinking hard about how we could treat each other comfortably and kindly, we arrived at the kind of rules introduced this time.   Do you have any unusual personal rules? Please tell us in the comments!